Letting go of control.

In the CBT Handbook by Pamela Myles and Roz Shafran the following analogy by Professor Paul Sakovskis of Bath university is mentioned:
A new worker at a building site is given a job to hold up a wall a few bricks high and a few bricks wide. The worker does this but at lunch time he has needs of food and wanting to use the toilet. The boss insists that he stays at his post and the job is important, and that he is doing a good job. At end of the day the worker is tired and has a need for sleep, but again the boss states that he remains at his post and that he is doing an important job.
Using this analogy as an example it illustrates the worker needs to take a risk or a chance of letting go to see that the wall will not collapse. This analogy parallels my situation of having unwanted and intrusive thoughts which resulted from a puncture wood after a night of drinking in a night club. Afterwards I did not feel safe with my anger and experienced an alienation of the expressive. I have been opposing my environment ever since in an attempt to retain control of situations to keep danger away from me and those that are close. I was keeping a projection of danger in abeyance. I have identified the thought or belief that causes the problem to persist, that after the assault I believed that life was unfair and unjust, and I always played the vitim card. A contributory factor was I lost job after job in rapid succession due as a consequence of the fear reaction of PTSD that was later assessed by CBT.
Like the worker I needed to let go to see that the wall would not fall down. I thought by letting go my worst fears would come true so I let go of one aspect of my life space rather than testing my worst thoughts with bigger risks attached.
This behavioural experiment consisted of dropping a safety behaviour and then seeing what happened and possibly disconfirming a belief that something bad would happen after a previous bad experience.
The serenity prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
courage to change the the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference

helps me to let go of some the control.Letting go of control is about step three and letting go and asking for God's will.
'When it comes to control, recovery is a balance between letting it happen and making it happen' (REF: Hazelden step three).
Letting it happen is dropping a safety behaviour, or dropping my gaurd with only a part of my problem to see a chink  of light in the armour of my ego.